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Campaign reaction

People with too much time on their hands

“I am sorry, perhaps I am not the rape kind of guy, but I think this campaign is a bad joke. I can not quite imagine those situations this web page is talking about. The questions posed here seem rhetorical to me.

There are laws (yes even in the UK) under which people (men basically) can be held responsible for rape, sexual harassment, etc. I believe strongly that a woman will report those things to the police if something bad enough happens to her (There is no law saying she has to report it though).

There is a natural equilibrium in society. Not everything which looks like it might have broken some law under some circumstances gets reported. And sometimes this is a good thing.

I think people forget that rape cases may be very controversial. Usually there will be no witnesses. Things are often not that clear. How about starting to count wrong convictions? (Or there no wrong convictions when it comes to rape?)

I think women abusing the law to take revenge are also worth mentioning. You should not be able to decide if you got raped or if you simply had sex depending on the outcome or depending on who came to know about it.

And rape in a marriage is a concept I do not understand. I mean surely assault is possible in a marriage. But can it be worse for a woman to have sex with her husband than to be beaten up by him? If you don't want to have sex, get divorced. If there is no bodily harm I think I could survive sex once more after having done it for the last five years. Criminal charges for sex in a marriage? Isn't that at least a little ridiculous?”

Author: Bartender, Male Anywhere
Date: 29/06/10

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Replies to this post

“If you can't comprehend that rape in marriage is a disgusting crime, then perhaps you are a "rape kind of guy". Marriage does not make a woman property of her husband, she has no "wifely duties". This is the 21st century.”

Author: Dawn, Female Glasgow
Date: 30/06/10

“"Perhaps" you're not the rape kind of guy? In other words, it could go either way? It would be real swell to get more of an explanation behind the wording of that. I will admit that you are correct in that there are women who have filed false sexual assault charges out of fear of getting caught or in trouble in some way, but this does not happen as much as it is led to believe. Because of the people who cry wolf, those who have been raped and/or assaulted are less likely to be taken seriously, or are too afraid to come forward for the same reason. Regardless of relationship status, rape is always possible. If a woman and her husband are in the bedroom. He ties her up, she's fine with it. They have sex, she's happy. He starts to have anal sex with her, and she says stop. No. Stop. Because she consented to vaginal sex, it's not rape if he does something she does not want? What if they switch roles? He's tied up, everything is fine and dandy, and she inserts something in him anally. He says stops, it's hurting him. She doesn't stop. Hey, he consented to everything else, right? So now that the roles are reversed, the wife doing something to the husband that he did not say was okay and is not okay with, is it more rape/sexually assault than if he were doing it to her? Short answer: No. In both cases, this is rape.”

Author: ex lion-tamer, Female around
Date: 01/07/10

“For someone to take the time to check out this campaign and only be able to come back with comments about women abusing the law and rape in marriage being inconceivable is really disturbing.
I don't know how we begin to tackle such deeply entrenched ignorance but i'm thankful that at least this campaign brings such attitudes to light and highlights that we truly have a long way to go in challenging the attitudes that make violence against women permissable.
Bartender, to rape is a deeply traumatic experience for those who come through it and has no relation whatsoever to a consensual sexual encounter. There is lots of information out there on the impact of rape and sexual assault, i'd encourage you to do some reading before commenting again.
As far as false allegations, those for rape are no higher than with any other crime - as someone has already pointed out in their comments to the site. One of the many women blaming myths that many people believe.”

Author: cantbelievewhatimreading, Female glasgow
Date: 03/07/10

“Bartender - Do you have the same attitude when men are raped by men?
Or, as ex-lion tamer suggested, if a man is assaulted by a woman? Oh, and can't you stretch your imagination to include a woman being forced to have sex with her husband when she does not want to as might possibly being assault, given your generosity in allowing that assault is possible in marriage? Bad joke? You're right there.....no-one's laughing except rapists who hide behind men like you.”

Author: Trees, Female Scotland
Date: 06/07/10

“How is rape in a marriage, a concept you cannot understand. Do married couples have arguments? Is there always a desire for people in marriage's to engage with each other intimately even if both parties hold feelings of animosity towards one another? What it is so difficult to understand? Marriage is supposed to be commitment by CHOICE, which means that all activities done within the relationship is done by CHOICE, this also includes sex and anything and everything sexual. What is so difficult to understand?

The fact you cannot wrap your mind around the concept of a woman saying NO to her husband after a night of arguing or believing he is committing even adultery, then you are that: "rape kind of guy."”

Author: Raquel, Female Ontario, Canada
Date: 28/07/11

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Have your say

“Rape seems to be the only crime where it's seen as ok to put the victim on trial.”

Natasha, Female from Glasgow

“Short skirts don't cause rape. Rapists cause rape”

Joss, Female from Connecticut

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER.”

Helzo, Female from Renfrewshire