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why do i blame myself

“i feel different about what happened to me every day some days i blame myself others i get angry at what he did to me i get so confused. this terrible thing has came in to my life and turned it upside down and i just don,t see a way out. was it my fault because i trusted this man because he was a friend.”

Author: ilona, Female angus
Date: 24/08/10

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Replies to this post

“Trusting someone isn't a crime - rape is. You have nothing to blame yourself for and no wonder you feel confused and angry when a supposed friend has done this. Why don't you try & get some support? Rape Crisis Scotland's helpline number is 08088 01 03 02. Really wishing you all the best.”

Author: Belinda, Female Prestonpans
Date: 25/08/10

“it's never your fault. he shouldn't have done that to you.”

Author: zachary, Male usa
Date: 25/08/10

“Unfortuneatly I know exactly how you feel, it happened to me over a year ago and it was a guy tht i had known for 3 years and thought was my friend someone i could really trust. I eventually learned how to deal with it, but th one thing tht really annoys me is i never got any justice he was let away with this terrible crime which now puts me down again. THE LAW SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but never ever think its your fault because its not !!!!!”

Author: Nicole, Female Glasgow
Date: 30/08/10

“Sometimes I think we try to blame ourselves because if it's partially our fault, then it means that we had some control over the situation. Feeling like you can't control your own life or stop horrible things like this from happening to you can feel worse than the blame/guilt can sometimes. But what happened to you is not your fault. You can feel more in control by helping prevent future rapes from happening to you and others...by speaking out and spreading the word about campaigns like this. But there is nothing that you did in that moment - or over the course of 3 years that you were friends with him - to make you deserve what happened to you.”

Author: Kajsa, Female Chicago, IL
Date: 06/10/10

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Have your say

“Rape seems to be the only crime where it's seen as ok to put the victim on trial.”

Natasha, Female from Glasgow

“Short skirts don't cause rape. Rapists cause rape”

Joss, Female from Connecticut

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER.”

Helzo, Female from Renfrewshire