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All discussions

What if it happens to a man?

“If a man and a woman are both intoxicated and it results in sex after which the woman feels regret, justifiably so, I think most people would condemn the man for having taken advantage of the woman. I believe it would even be rape, as being drunk the woman can not give consent. Rightly so. But…”
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Author: Sean, Male, Ireland
Date: 30/06/2016
Category: Drink
Replies: 0

Powerful Stuff

“I am so glad that this campaign was put out, and that it's caused so much buzz on the UK, because i'm sure it really does challenge people's perception on the matter of rape. Although we'd hope that most people would agree that it is never the victim's fault, there are people that do blame it on…”
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Author: Jas, Male, East Midlands, England
Date: 30/01/2015
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Show your support men!

“Its about time someone put something like this out! I live on the other side of the world in New Zealand and this video has made its way here. I'm here to plead to other men to help end sexual violence. Next time your mate makes a sexist remark about a woman, call him out on it! Next time your…”
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Author: Des, Male, Auckland
Date: 30/01/2015
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Support from OZ

“I'm an Australian woman living in Sydney and recently attended a healthy relationships course to educate students in schools about DV and sexual assault and the law. In the course they showed us your advert which led me to look up your website and Facebook page. I love what you're doing in the UK…”
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Author: Lynda, Female, Sydney
Date: 08/01/2014
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 1

Blaming the right people

“We need to start blaming the people who are responsible for raping instead of blaming the people who are wearing this or that. Because, whether a woman is sporting some cleavage or a turtleneck, she has the right to walk the streets without fear of being raped. This is basic human rights, respect…”
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Author: Sara, Female, Lisbon, Portugal
Date: 11/11/2013
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

It's sad that society is so quick to judge

“My best friend was wearing pajamas when she was raped. Pants completely covering her legs and a button up long sleeve shirt, it was winter. She was at a sleepover when a man broke into her friends house to rob them and then discovered that two people were home, he ended up raping my best friend and…”
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Author: Meghan, Female, United States
Date: 24/06/2013
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

What I think is so sad...

“What I think is so sad (among bunches of other rather sad things) is that people can't wrap their minds around consent as a one-time ticket to a one-act show. As in, "Oh, you've a ticket from last week? So sorry, that expired. Well, right after you used it, actually. That's sort of how it works.…”
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Author: Hannah, Female, US
Date: 22/05/2013
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 1

Am I to blame?

“When I was a freshmen in college I had a bad time with depression. I met a guy who was the "bad boy" and thought would be good for me. We were at a party, having a few drinks, and then ended at his place where we began kissing. Things heated up and he wanted to have sex. I said "no" several…”
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Author: J, Female, Michigan
Date: 11/04/2013
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 1

Stop Victim Blaming

“We need to understand that rape is not about what the woman was/wasn't wearing, how drunk she was/wasn't or how "far" she had previously gone with her rapist; rape is simply an abuse of power. If it was simply about how women dressed, then there would be no rapes in countries like Afghanistan and…”
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Author: Thomasina, Female, Cumbria, UK
Date: 11/04/2013
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 1

Take away the r and you're an ape

“Take away the r and you have an ape. ”
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Author: Rita l., Female, US
Date: 22/02/2013
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

i think this is great

“I think what you're doing is really important. I really wish we had a campaign like this in America. Frankly the statistics here are just as startling. The problem is that there are so many people who think that everyone knows rape is wrong, leading them to make jokes and actually contribute to…”
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Author: Maggie, Female, USA
Date: 22/02/2013
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Fault versus precautions

“Those who rape does not care about this campaign. It's like telling people not to steal or kill. You can ignore the fact that some people do not respect you OR you could be responsible and take precautions. I can say: "It's the thieves fault I was robbed!". "Don't tell people to lock the door,…”
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Author: Espen, Male, Oslo
Date: 10/09/2012
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

enthusiastic consent

“This is a fantastic campaign and one which I hope is being used as an educational tool in schools and universities so both women and men learn young that nothing is an invitation to rape. People are raped because a rapist rapes them - that's the only reason for rape. I'd like to add to the no means…”
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Author: Kate Gould, Female, Edinburgh
Date: 10/09/2012
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 0

The way we dress can lead other people to mispercieve you as something else.

“Sometimes we dress in certain ways, depending on what place or location we are at. If were at school, wearing jeans and t-shirts are appropriate and its an academic learning enviroment. If we are at a night club or bar, dressing up is not a problem. But living in your parents house, dress…”
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Author: Deanna Yip, Female, Washington, usa
Date: 10/09/2012
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

Hang on a minute...

“If I have unprotected sex with a lot of strangers, I am likely to catch an STD. If I walk around a bad neighbourhood at night, offending the local hoodies, I am likely to be stabbed. If I don't follow basic hygeine when preparing food, I am liable to get food poisoning. Yes, it is possible to…”
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Author: Mel, Female, Cardiff
Date: 03/07/2012
Category: Dress
Replies: 10

The Root of the problem

“I think this campaign is great but what concerns me is that it doesn't address the causes of these issues. What I mean by that is it doesn't answer the question why are things this way? Who made them like this and why did they? What were their motives? Until we answer these questions we can't hope…”
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Author: Caitlin McGee, Female, US
Date: 01/02/2012
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 1

Guys: If you're going to drink...

“Guys, if you're going to drink, please make sure you don't drink so much that you forget what consent is and rape someone. Thank you. ”
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Author: ST, Female, Fort Worth
Date: 18/11/2011
Category: Drink
Replies: 0

QUILTBAGPIPE Members

“I love this campaign, but I wish it at least mentioned that not all relationships are heterosexual. Just statin'. ”
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Author: ST, Female, Fort Worth
Date: 18/11/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Men

“Yes I'm against rape but not all rape is by men. Your 'tips' for how not to rape are all written as if males are the only ones able to do things. "When she...", "Leave her alone", etc. Both genders are able to take advantage of anyone under the influence or alone. Stop being so closed-minded and…”
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Author: Artie Blotch, Male, Kent
Date: 18/11/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 3

Guys: If you're going to drink...

“Guys, if you're going to drink, please make sure you don't drink so much that you forget what consent is and rape someone. Thank you. ”
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Author: ST, Female, Fort Worth
Date: 18/11/2011
Category: Drink
Replies: 2

QUILTBAGPIPE Members

“I love this campaign, but I wish it at least mentioned that not all relationships are heterosexual. Just statin'. ”
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Author: ST, Female, Fort Worth
Date: 18/11/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Human Rights

“Woman are human beings. We deserve the freedom to be able to go wherever we want, at any time, wearing anything, without fearing being attacked. ”
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Author: N, Female, Sydney
Date: 12/09/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

A Letter

“Dear Rape Sympathizers, Did you ever think that maybe we women are not dressing in any particular way for you, but for ourselves? When I go out, I pick my outfit based on what makes me feel confident and fun, which is intended to highlight my mood and personality. If you find me attractive, then…”
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Author: Sara, Female, Indiana, USA
Date: 28/07/2011
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

going over to a guys house [Note from moderators: Trigger warning]

“I was talking to this guy for about a while just as a friend nothing more he asked me two come over then I agreed two it a drank a lil bit then he started two kiss me. I said two myself this is wrong but I was out of it I kept drifting of two sleep he asked me wats I said nothing he said two me…”
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Author: Ann, Female, USA
Date: 28/06/2011
Category: Drink
Replies: 3

rape is never justified

“How can rape be justified some people have to be some kind of sick arrogant pricks to do such a hurtful thing. Do they think about what it will do to the victims and their familes? These people who have to suffer and are scared to speak up about it. Sometimes the rapist gets away with it. Please…”
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Author: mel, Female, usa
Date: 28/06/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

A humble suggestion

“First let me say that rape is truly an awful crime to happen to anyone, only slightly less horrific than murder. Rapists and anyone who thinks that anything but zero tolerance for forcing another human being to do anything sexual they do not consent to. I seriously think cutting off the rapist's…”
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Author: Greg, Male, Lancaster, PA
Date: 14/06/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 3

The way rape victims are treated

“Its official, Rape is the only crime where the victim becomes the suspect, and for a crime which is just below murder there are a lot of victims who recieve a lot of stress and dissbelief from authorities and the majority of the suspecs get away scott free. Rape is like emotional murder, it kills…”
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Author: Rhona, Female, Scotland
Date: 14/06/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Slutty Dress

“Recently there was a presentation done by a police officer to a group of young woman at York University (that's York in Toronto, not York in UK). He stated that women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized. It has completely shocked our community that a representative of…”
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Author: Sarah, Female, Toronto
Date: 19/05/2011
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

Being Prepared

“First of all, let me preface this by saying rape is NEVER okay. Nevertheless, as women, we do have to protect ourselves. There are sick bastards out there, and we have to do everything we can to prevent an attack from occurring. In my case, that involves dressing more conservatively so as not to…”
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Author: Cassidy, Female, USA
Date: 19/05/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 3

One correction

“While I fully approve of this campaign, and it's goal, there is something that some people on here don't understand: most rapes are not sexually motivated. They are a way for the attacker to gain power, which is what they truly want. True, there are some cases when the rapist, male or female, just…”
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Author: Katelyn, Female, Maryland
Date: 08/03/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Not justification.

“It doesn't matter if a woman wears a short skirt, a skimpy dress, or revealing clothes. It doesn't matter if we've drank too much and can barely walk straight. Why? Simple. We have a right to wear what we want, to dance, to drink, and go out with friends, just as we have a right to choose who we…”
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Author: Whitney, Female, Illinois
Date: 25/01/2011
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Brilliant advert!

“This advert is brilliant. It makes it's point so well and i think it also could be helpful to rape survivors. As a survivor of rape i know that i spent years thinking that i had done something, it was my fault, i must have given some sort of signal, i shouldnt have drank, i shouldnt have gone to…”
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Author: Amanda, Female, Glasgow
Date: 17/01/2011
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

woman need to take responsibility

“if two thirds of people think that the woman is to blame because she wears something slutty, dosent that make it true? Also we dont live in a perfect world - which im sure everybody is aware of. If i went out and didnt lock my front door and came back and had been robbed then it would partly be…”
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Author: Martin Hendry, Male, Southside Glasgow
Date: 30/11/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 7

Asking for it isn't just a short skirt...

“when i was 12, my step-father raped me for the first time. every single one of our neighbors "knew" about it - well, they all persist [to this day! 21 years later] in believing I "seduced him". why? at 12, i LOOKED 20 or so. i had large breasts and hips, and a small waist. i was getting…”
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Author: denelian, Female, Ohio, USA
Date: 03/11/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

The way rape victims are treated

“Its official, Rape is the only crime where the victim becomes the suspect, and for a crime which is just below murder there are a lot of victims who recieve a lot of stress and dissbelief from autorities and the majority of the suspecs get away scott free. Rape is like emotional murder, it kills…”
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Author: Rhona, Female, Scotland
Date: 03/11/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

Brilliant advert!

“This advert is brilliant. It makes it's point so well and i think it also could be helpful to rape survivors. As a survivor of rape i know that i spent years thinking that i had done something, it was my fault, i must have given some sort of signal, i shouldnt have drank, i shouldnt have gone to…”
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Author: Amanda, Female, Glasgow
Date: 27/10/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

My attacker was someone I knew

“I was raped by a good friend of my sister's. Because he was known to us, my sister refuses to believe - to this day - that I was raped. How can she believe that I made it up, when I couldn't stop crying for three days straight after it happened? I had always been friendly with him when my sister…”
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Author: Sasha, Female, Pennsylvania
Date: 06/09/2010
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 5

I dnt understand the law

“I jst dnt undrstnd the law i have tried i would like 2 b abl 2 find out if im stil abl 2 get ma atacker charged as my atack hapend 12 years ago thre was alcohol involvd i also thnk i was spiked. As i ended up unconcious & woke wth hm raping me which he done repeatedly for 13 hours along wth using…”
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Author: Aly, Female, Scotland
Date: 30/08/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 5

Law & atitudes needs changed

“I woz subjectd 2 a very violnt n repeatd rape & sexual asault 12 yrs ago nw. I am only nw coming 2 terms with it but until the law & atitudes change it is v unlikely i wil face upto my atacker as i feel the law isnt on ma side becaus i was drunk i knew my ataker n i think i was spikd. now i feel…”
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Author: Anon, Female, Scotland
Date: 30/08/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 0

the ratings

“i noticed that the survey not 1 was 100 percent, why would anyone think its ever correct or allowed after someone says no. would these people think again if it was their mum or sister ”
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Author: kenneth, Male, scotland
Date: 30/08/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

why do i blame myself

“i feel different about what happened to me every day some days i blame myself others i get angry at what he did to me i get so confused. this terrible thing has came in to my life and turned it upside down and i just don,t see a way out. was it my fault because i trusted this man because he was a…”
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Author: ilona, Female, angus
Date: 24/08/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 3

nobody ever asks to be raped

“i find the advert on the telelvision hard to watch, nobody ever asks to be raped ever. the problem is the way society looks at women being the weaker sex and the attitude of the police and other service if you have been drinking and are raped ”
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Author: jackie, Female, scotland
Date: 16/08/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Great campaign

“I went through an ordeal last year where my drink was spiked and I was assaulted. My most terrifying thought the whole of the next day at the Police Station was that I wouldn't be taken seriously and I would be regarded as a drunk girl just asking to be taken advantage of. The Police Officers who…”
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Author: Laura, Female, East Yorks
Date: 12/08/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Male Rape

“Why is there no mention of Male Rape in this campaign. My best mate (Male) was raped in Glasgow on his stag do..... This type of assualt still remains silent! ”
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Author: anon, Male, Glasgow
Date: 10/08/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 5

The Advert

“This current advertising campaign appears to contextualise any male attention (however boorish) to the female form as tantamount to rape. I appreciate that any form of sexual abuse is utterly unacceptable; but would have thought that "Some guys have serious issues and should be avoided" would be a…”
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Author: Neil, Male, Glasgow
Date: 09/08/2010
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 2

Scared of the ordeal

“I was raped when I was 17 but never told anyone because I was scared of the police ordeal and didn't want to upset my parents. I was alone in my parents house and a man tricked me into letting him in. He made me do awful things before he raped me and he even stole the clothes I was wearing. Am I…”
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Author: Nikki, Female, Scotland
Date: 09/08/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

underage drinking

“i just thought i would write to use when i seen the advert on television, i was staying with my friend one night when i was 15 years of age i had been drinking that night and woke up during the night with my friends big brother leaning over me with a torch gently pulling my trousers down i sat up…”
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Author: sharlene, Female, coatbridge
Date: 02/08/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 0

Just looking...

“Several posters have commented that it's okay for men to 'look' at women when they are addressed in a particular way. However, does this still not sexually objectify women? Surely all women can wear exactly want they want at all times without any man looking, passing comments or making any…”
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Author: Colin, Male, England
Date: 02/08/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

Rape Case Trials

“If they way you dress is nothing to do with being raped (which I agree with) why is it still such a fundamental issue in rape case trials? ”
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Author: Margaret, Female, Glasgow
Date: 29/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

All about women?

“While i admire it being brought to the public attention about rape etc, the advert, and also this full site seems directed at females. Yes, the majority of rape cases have females as the victims, but don't forget men can be at the recieving end of such traumas too... ”
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Author: Kirsty, Female, Central Scotland
Date: 28/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

Comparing rape to property theft

“I have read several comments on here that compare 'taking sensible precautions' against being raped alongside 'taking sensible precautions' to avoid theft or burglary. Please can we stop this comparison, for several reasons. 1. Women are constantly bombarded with messages about how they can help…”
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Author: Susan, Female, Glasgow
Date: 22/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 10

The tale of Mr Smith

“The law discriminates against rape victims in a manner which would not be tolerated by victims of any other crime. In the following example, a holdup victim is asked questions similar in form to those usually asked a victim of rape. "Mr. Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the corner of 16th…”
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Author: Susan, Female, Glasgow
Date: 22/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

What about thu women that have suffered??

“I was not happy when I seen the advert! I agree with the message but the way they went about it was a little unsensitive. I am a victim of rape and I do not beleive that ANYONE deserves or asks to be raped! Everyone has the right to say what they like so why cant the same go for what they wear??…”
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Author: Sarah, Female, Paisley
Date: 21/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

I just don't understand

“First I would like to say BRAVO !! for your Ad campaign. It would be a huge success if we could do the same in the U.S. Thank you for beginning the process of instilling knowledge to those who just do not understand that "dress, drink, intimacy, plus so many other factors" are not the issue... …”
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Author: Deby A, Female, Milwaukee, WI, U.S.
Date: 14/07/2010
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 0

A bit of skin

“I like the message in the advert. Why is it deemed unacceptable for women to dress how they want and enjoy themselves without expecting to be attacked, but it is acceptable to men to act like primitive animals and not be able to hold themselves back if there is a bit of skin on show. Is it…”
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Author: M, Female, Glasgow
Date: 13/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Not ever

“its not the way you dress that casue's rape , rapists cause RAPE noone EVER asks to be raped honestly not EVER ! ”
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Author: Stephanie, Female, Glasgow
Date: 13/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

it's nothing to do with clothes

“Far too often the survivor of rape knows the rapist, doesn't matter what they are wearing, far too often the survivor of rape is ignored, ignored because to everyone else the rapist is 'a nice guy', 'a pillar of the community' or 'a loving father and husband'. Why do these people manage to commit…”
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Author: May, Female, aberdeen
Date: 10/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 4

Dangerous campaign

“Under no circumstances is a woman to blame for her own rape. But if a woman dresses provocatively, the chances of this happening are likely to increase. This advert is likely to give some women the impression that they can do as they please (e.g. wear short skirts and generally not look after…”
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Author: Kenneth, Male, Edinburgh, Scotland
Date: 10/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 9

thank you

“It's great to see this campaign and, from many of the comments people have made here on your website, it's a very necessary campaign. So many people have come on here to decry the campaign while at the same time displaying many of the attitudes it tries to challenge. It's strange that they don't…”
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Author: kel, Female, hamilton
Date: 09/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

At least the campaign has got people discussing

“My initial reaction to the ad was one of disappointment that it focused on a young, good-looking woman, her choice of clothing and her risk from a stranger, but at least it has provoked some discussion. I'm hoping that there will be future ads which dispel stereotypical views and focus on the real…”
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Author: Caz, Female, Scotland
Date: 09/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

It's not about skirts stupid ! !

“It's not about skirts stupid !! I have two sons and two daughters who are young and single and as a mother would defend each of their rights to go out dressed as they please which they do !! I really do think that in this day and age there can be few young people who hold such unenlightened views…”
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Author: mum, Female, glasgow
Date: 08/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

This ad makes me angry

“This ad makes me angry and I'm not an aplogist for rape When you start to unpack the narrative of this ad it makes some pretty questionable assumptions about how men react. Aren't there already enough myths and stereotypes around the issue of rape ?? I have two sons and two daughters who are all…”
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Author: Glasgow mum, Female, Glasgow
Date: 07/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 8

Bad Advert.

“It's not deniable that Rape is an appalling disgusting crime. But this campaign is what I believe the wrong way to deliver the message. Before you breathe down my throat, I have read many of the discussions, and as soon as someone says common sense many of you seem to get really angry without…”
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Author: NonDisclosed, Male, Glasgow
Date: 07/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 4

...what of the false allegations?

“While I agree that there is never any excuse for rape and I abhor those who think that those who dress provocatively "ask for it" - I think it has to be considered that there are allegations made wrongly as a result of "buyers remorse". The real victims in these circumstances are the accused -…”
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Author: David, Male, Fife
Date: 07/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 6

I was raped last yeae

“I got raped last year n i had 2 jackets on n jeans cuz it was cold ppl that do this cant use how u dress as an excuse they are sick ”
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Author: A, Female, Perthshire
Date: 06/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

dress has nothing 2 do it

“i was raped at 15 and had jeans and t-shrit on so wot u wear has nothing 2 do it some men jst think they have the rite 2 have sex wi any women. ”
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Author: sarahjane, Female, west lothion
Date: 06/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

ASK Her

“To all the men who complain that women lead them on: How do you avoid raping someone or pressuring them into sex? You ASK THEM whether they want to have sex with you (or kiss you, or whatever it is you'd like to do). If they say no or they seem hesitant you drop the matter - even if you think…”
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Author: Tony, Male, Boston, MA
Date: 06/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 5

Powerful Advert

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER. ”
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Author: Helzo, Female, Renfrewshire
Date: 05/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Powerful Advert

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER. ”
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Author: Helzo, Female, Renfrewshire
Date: 05/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

The "They Just Can't Control Themselves" excuse is a disservice to everyone

“One argument I've heard against the idea that a woman is not at fault for being raped even if she is dressed provocatively is that men "just can't control themselves" when they see a woman in a short skirt or a low-cut top. If you think about it, this is insulting to women, obviously, as it is a…”
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Author: Joss, Female, Connecticut
Date: 05/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Gender options

“Transgender is not a third gender, it is a descriptive term. Transgender people can be women (trans women) or men (trans men) or non-binary identified folk. Trans people, if binary identified, are not some kind of third gender, they're men and women just like cisgender people. What a shame that…”
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Author: Rosie, Female, England
Date: 03/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 3

Great.

“This is such an important message. This campaign should be shown worldwide. ”
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Author: Taylor, Female, Canada
Date: 03/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Crime Prevention

“I wholeheartedly agree that no woman ever asks to be raped. But it's about taking precautions and being safe. No one asks to be mugged or robbed either, but there are ways to prevent this by not being in certain situations or by not acting like a victim (walking with head down, unaware of…”
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Author: Sander, Male, Kansas, USA
Date: 03/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 9

Spare me your excuses

“This is in response to one of the comments I read on this blog. Women are told that we need to understand that when men are aroused, they don't think logically. And then they say that it's how women dress and act that arouses them. So of course, it's back to being women's fault if men are aroused…”
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Author: Christina, Female, Colorado
Date: 03/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Men Can't Control Themselves

“I want to make a clear message to any biped calling himself a man, who has the egotism and hubris to state that if a woman dresses in an attractive manner a man can no longer control himself and therefore may respond in any manner and should not be held responsible. This is quite simply…”
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Author: David, Male, US
Date: 03/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

Why the double standard?

“What really puzzles me is how drunkeness is used completely differently by media and courts when it comes to the victim and alleged perpetrator - when a woman has been drinking she becomes more responsible for what happened to her, as she put herself in a vulnerable position and is a less reliable…”
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Author: Clare, Female, London
Date: 02/07/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 1

Why a woman's actions has nothing to do with being raped

“First of all I must say how refreshing it is to see a campaign that is both raising awareness and challenging ignorance. It really is a breath of fresh air. Secondly, I wanted to share my experience. I was spiked and raped in1995. I was wearing a short skirt but this had nothing to do with my…”
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Author: Hope, Female, Cumbria
Date: 02/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

There's only one risk factor for rape

“This is an excellent campaign and I wish you all the best with it. I've worn short skirts and low cut tops many times, and not been raped. I've been drunk many times, and not been raped. I've flirted with and kissed men in bars on several occasions, and not been raped. I've taken men home with me…”
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Author: Claire, Female, Halifax
Date: 02/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 1

Socially conditioned to blame women

“A woman was raped very close to my flat very recently; it saddened me greatly that I wasn't there or able to help or that no one apparently heard her screams for help. Even though, when chatting to people about it, you're given a sense sympathy for the woman and worry about the rapist not being…”
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Author: Lisa, Female, Edinburgh
Date: 01/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 4

Yes Means Yes

“It is long past time we moved on from the "no means no" concept of years past and embrace the enthusiasm of Yes means Yes. Sex and intimacy between two people, even in the context of a one-night stand, should be a joyful experience for BOTH. Not something you "get" the other to do to fulfill your…”
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Author: Social Worker, Female, California, U.S.
Date: 01/07/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

And again it feels like so many miss the point

“First I want to thank this campaign and all involved. I wish that the United States had a similar campaign going. Secondly, the whole point of this campaign as I understand it is to educate or make the point that no matter what is worn or how one acts...rape is never asked for, and it should…”
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Author: Megan, Female, U.S.A.
Date: 01/07/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Why we emphasise men raping women when we talk about rape and abuse

“As an abuse victim, I really do appreciate the sentiments of a couple of men who've come on here and said they feel left out, and that rape and abuse is about power and violation; I totally agree, but so do the campaigners. The ad isn't saying that it's about "tits and ass", it's saying the exact…”
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Author: squeak, Female, glasgow
Date: 30/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

justice?

“I was raped. It happened in my home. My baby was asleep upstairs. It was perpetrated by someone I knew and had formerly been in a relationship with. Does this make it my fault? I had no reason not to let him into my home, no reason to suspect that this would happen Does this make it my fault? He…”
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Author: frogs, Female, cardiff
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

ASKING TO BE RAPED!!!

“I truly cant believe some of the comments posted by males and worst of all females,on how their belief is that women ASKED to be raped! Explain to me how a women asks to be raped because of attire or the amount of alcohol she may have consummed? If a women walks down the street naked is that an…”
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Author: Karen, Female, Larkhall
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 3

No is no

“It took me 30 years to come to terms with being raped. And I continue to reflect on how that event changed me and how I related to men and to social situations for decades. It's never what you wear, how you flirt, how much you had to drink or if you're being accommodating and nice: no is no. NO IS…”
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Author: Cate, Female, California
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 0

Are you really trying to say that grown men are behaving like toddlers?

“To say its a woman's fault if she's raped because she was wearing revealing clothing is tantamount to saying that grown men are behaving like little children in the sweetie/toy shop who aren't mature enough to control their actions or understand that they can't always, absolutely have everything…”
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Author: Kate, Female, Edinburgh
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

Are you really trying to say that grown men are behaving like toddlers?

“To say its a woman's fault if she's raped because she was wearing revealing clothing is tantamount to saying that grown men are behaving like little children in the sweetie/toy shop who aren't mature enough to control their actions or understand that they can't always, absolutely have everything…”
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Author: Kate, Female, Edinburgh
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 3

Asking for it or up for it?

“The issue regarding blaming women who get raped for dressing indecently is not just one fold as many of you're claiming, its two-fold. The first issue deals with the act of rape. People who rape women are the worst cowards on earth. They're to be punished/executed according to the law whilst…”
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Author: Pauline Baxter, Female, Glasgow
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 1

Dressing up

“This is a true story, i used to live in scotland, while shopping for my new son to be (he's now 8), it was about 3 weeks from the start of the new school year. Now i remember when i was at school, girls skirts had to be ankle length, what was on sale, and being brought by pairents were skirts no…”
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Author: Gary, Male, UK
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 2

Drink

“I am largely supportive of this campaign. But i do feel drink is a bit of a grey area. If a woman is passed out, then there can obviously be no excuse. But what if a woman drunkenly gave consent at the time? You might say the sensible option is to play it safe and not indulge in any intimate…”
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Author: James, Male, Exeter
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 9

Emphasis

“The campaign is good but the emphasis is so bad. As I guy who has been sexually assaulted by a girl it would be good to have that perspective as well. It's not about tits and ass, that's the whole point - it's about someone having sex with you when you haven't given them your consent. And it would…”
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Author: For me to know, Male, and you not to find out
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

Innocent until proved guilty

“It should always be the case that 'no' means 'no'. However, there have been women who have maliciously accused men of rape and the man's name has been dragged through the press, only to be found innocent. The rape victim and the alleged rapist should remain annonymous during any court case. ”
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Author: Sue, Female, glasgow
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

Just a Thought

“If I carried 400 on a night out, flashed it about in front of others, got extremely drunk, and then walked home alone down a dark alley, I'd be asking to get mugged of my handbag!! Of course it doesn't make it right, but it's true! Suggesting that wearing provocative clothes, getting extremely…”
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Author: Elaine, Female, Glasgow
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 2

no means no

“I was raped last year in my best friends house, by someone id known for a while, i had been drinking and had passed out on the bathroom floor, i woke up to this man raping me... I believed it was partly my fault to begin with, because i was drunk but now i dont, no means no and no man has the right…”
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Author: hannah, Female, scotland
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 1

People with too much time on their hands

“I am sorry, perhaps I am not the rape kind of guy, but I think this campaign is a bad joke. I can not quite imagine those situations this web page is talking about. The questions posed here seem rhetorical to me. There are laws (yes even in the UK) under which people (men basically) can be held…”
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Author: Bartender, Male, Anywhere
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 5

She's asking for it! As if!

“It is absolutely ridiculous to blame someone for being raped due to what they were wearing at the time. People should be allowed to wear what they want and when they want without fear of being assaulted. It's about time we started to challenge why we blame the victim rather than the…”
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Author: Faye Wilson, Female, Buckie, Scotland
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Dress
Replies: 0

This is the way you do it baby..

“This is the way you do it baby.. the words of a man I dated and trusted. When we got 'intimate' he started to hurt me and I asked him to stop saying and knowing I wasnt ready - before he was inside me - but he kept going and I couldnt stop him. It hurt a lot and I bled. Did I 'ask for it'? No, I…”
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Author: rathernotsay, Female, scotland
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

Underage

“What is the % of girls under 18 drinking in the night clubs? I've seen firends found guilty of rape all because the little spoilt brat was late home from drinking and for a defence scream rape. Pairents should be at fault for letting their children drink. If a girl drinks under the age of 18, and…”
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Author: Gary, Male, UK
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 2

Underage Drinking

“Too many minors are drinking and screaming rape and caused people to be put on the sex offenders register and charged with rape. If someone has been drinking then there is a higher posibility she consented, then after regretted what she has done, and 1 word helps her feel better RAPE. This should…”
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Author: Gary, Male, UK
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Drink
Replies: 5

What constitutes rape?

“What is the specific technical definition of 'rape'? Is it merely a 'non-consensual, penetrative' act? And can rape be perpetrated by women? ”
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Author: Betty, Female, Edinburgh
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 1

why are conviction rates so low?

“There appears to be an assumption that low rape conviction rates are because somehow "victims" are attacked in the criminal justice system. The simple fact remains that it is a JURY that decides that an accused is guilty or not guilty. Juries are made up of women and men, and they use their own…”
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Author: blackaffronted, Male, Edinburgh
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Campaign reaction
Replies: 5

Woman to blame

“Women need to understand that dressing up like sluts is going to sexually provoke men. Men respond to visual beauty. I'm not defending the rapist but if you dress in an indecent manner then you really are asking for it. ”
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Author: Stacy, Female, Madrid
Date: 29/06/2010
Category: Intimacy
Replies: 12

Have your say

“Rape seems to be the only crime where it's seen as ok to put the victim on trial.”

Natasha, Female from Glasgow

“Short skirts don't cause rape. Rapists cause rape”

Joss, Female from Connecticut

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER.”

Helzo, Female from Renfrewshire